All the rest

I was originally going to post this back some time in May but I was in a life or death battle with three rhinoceroses and all I had were night vision googles, a kazoo, and a pair of chopsticks.

Or maybe I just forgot I had this draft sitting around.  Whatever.  So anyway…

I have a ridiculous phobia of dentists.  I had multiple terrible experiences as a child and as a young adult on my own, I couldn’t afford to eat let alone go to the dentist.  My problems were from both neglect and genetics, so yay me.  By the time I started adulting, my teeth were in terrible even more terrible shape.

The answer was sedation dentistry.  A full day of drugs, being driven around, and spitting out things.  Dental insurance is ridiculously expensive; not all of us can work a union job.

You know exactly how it sounds.

Not just expensive, but thousands of dollars worth of work at once.  Thousands. I couldn’t bear the dentist and I wanted to get everything done at once, so that’s basically why I did it.  Bursting into tears half way to the dentist and begging to turn around and we don’t have to do this and we can cancel the appointment and it’s so expensive turn around turn around turn around!

(Fact:  we did not get to turn around)

So, recently, I started having tooth pain.  I was terrified because there just isn’t money for this right now ever.  I didn’t want to go but it was excruciating.  I didn’t go the sedation route for the first time in about 20 years.  I did take two clonazepam though.  I didn’t throw up or become hysterical.  This is a big deal as that is what would have happened had I not self medicated.  It was still expensive; about $220 for an x-ray.  That’s all they did, but to be fair, it was a fancy x-ray.

So fancy.

First off, the tooth in question should not have been hurting at all–I had a root canal and crown about 10 years ago.  That’s why the tooth is so opaque.  The nerves are removed/deadened so there shouldn’t be any pain.    Here’s some even fancier animation for you:

Now, if you look at my x-ray, you can see there’s a gap where the canal should be fully filled.  You see the white ‘pool’ under the tooth?  That’s an infection, also known as PAIN OF DEATH.  After my super expensive x-ray, I had to go to a specialist so they could drill through the crown.  Best case scenario:  they drill through the crown, remove the canal stuff, pack it with antibiotic stuff, come back in three weeks, remove the antibiotic stuff, repack the canal stuff, set temporary filling, then go to an additional appointment at the regular dentist to get a permanent filling.

Yeah.  Dentist –> Endodontist –> Endodontist –> Dentist.

Worst case scenario:  They drill through the crown, break it, have to replace the whole thing and send the mafia after me to break my kneecaps after I can’t pay them.

Luckily, everything went as planned.  Expensive.  First dentist x-ray was $220, filling and cleaning after the fact was $300?  I already don’t remember because I like to block out trauma.  The endodontist was $15oo, but the follow up procedure was included.  So as expensive as this was, still cheaper than sedation.  AND I didn’t have any tooth problems other than the original reason that bright me in!  No passive aggressive comments, no accidental stabbing me in the mouth, no jerks, no assholes.  I don’t floss enough which I think is pretty much standard for everyone.  At the endodontist I was shaking and crying but I pulled myself together by the time the dentist came in so no one saw which basically means it didn’t happen.

In other news, I am doing the thing!  I have accidentally been working on my ChÜberlist.  Accidental as in, I have just been living my life and making decisions that were not motivated by a list that I would have already forgotten if I didn’t have it blogged.  So here are my updates:

Self
1. Lose 10% of my current total body weight. – I’ve lost 5% of my body weight!  Yay me!  I decided to start paying attention on May 22 and it is actually getting easier.  I’m only dieting at the moment, but I’ll soon add actual exercise because right now I’m still too lazy and unmotivated.  Baby steps.
2. Practice better drug adherence. – I have been doing much better, actually.  I’m not skipping on purpose but there are nights that I fall asleep early and forget.  That is happening less and less though.
3. Get a haircut that I can maintain. – Is a pony tail a haircut?
4. Sleep like a normal human being. – What is “normal”, anyway?  Who’s to say how I sleep isn’t normal?  I think you’re being rather judgmental.
5. Be conscious about my appearance. – Okay, I bought some things.  I am aware that I have an appearance.  I have ONE picture of myself that I like.  These are all big steps so I’ll take what I can get.

Home
1. I need a meal plan. – Eating human food is the plan for now.  We do follow our breakfast schedule and I have a ton of muffins and breakfast tacos and frittatas in the freezer for consumption.
2. I need a chore schedule. 
3. Major Spring/Summer/Autumn/Winter cleaning. – I threw out SO. MUCH. STUFF.  Old computers, the chair I rocked my babies in every night, lots of memories.  Bittersweet.  
4. Get the ice maker fixed.
5. Stop procrastinating on all of the minor repairs and projects. – I replaced a towel bar.  I did something.

Kids – I AM KILLING IT WITH THIS PARENTING THING.  Okay, I’ve been killing it for like, a week, but still, a week is progress.  We have finished our first week back to school since I took almost two months off to deal with that whole business thing.  School every day, violin practice every day, tae kwon do on Monday and Friday, violin on Tuesday and on Friday we go to the park to practice tae kwon do (I let Josh kick and punch the shit out of me) and play.  Their bedrooms are adequate.  If I can just keep this up I will be impressed and very pleased.
1. Enforce a consistent school, practice, wake up and bedtime routine.
2. School at the library or park once a week.
3. Have lesson plans one month in advance.
4. Be more regimented on practice for extra curricular activities.
5. Help the kids stay on task with cleaning their rooms.

Crafty – Ain’t nobody got time for that.
1. Finish hand quilting that giant king sized quilt.
2. Finish water color painting.
3. Sketchbook every day. Eventually.
4. Teach Robin to sew and to knit (those were her resolutions, so now they’re mine as well)
5. Knit at least 2 pair of socks.
6. Blog at least once a week.

Miscellaneous
1. Revamp the fish tanks. – Done, but always redoing.  I feel a bit stretched thin (mentally and financially) to do much more at this time but I want more fish, more plants, etc.  So basically, more money.
2. Wash my car once a month (inside and out)

So I like all this good news lately so if everything could stay consistent for a while that’d be great.  Picture unrelated:

Check out Slack Wyrm for more!

Field Trip!

This week the kiddos and I decided to go on a field trip to the BAPS Shri Swaminarayan Mandir and it was completely amazeballs.

From the parking lot.

From the parking lot.

I was looking for things in the area to do with the kids that wasn’t crazy expensive -and- was somewhat educational.  When I came across information of the mandir, I couldn’t pass it up.

I don’t subscribe to any specific religion and I’m not converting to Hinduism anytime soon.  What I know about Hinduism comes from mythology and the only Hindu that I know, Apu Nahasapeemapetilon.

Classic.

I need the Kwik-E-Mart.

The campus is huge, gated, meticulous and incredibly beautiful.  We stayed outside looking around at every little detail before going inside to attend the midday Rajbhog Arti ceremony.  We were in the way back as to not get in the way of people praying.   The detail in the hand cut marble, inside and outside, is really awesome.  The kids were losing their minds at how big it was and how it was like a castle.

I would have called it a palace, but whatever.

I would have called it a palace, but whatever.

Artsy shot of the architecture.

Artsy shot of the architecture.

ELEPHANTS!

ELEPHANTS!

Reflecting over the reflecting pool.

Reflecting over the reflecting pool.

This is the closest picture I could get of the Mandir. No photos after that point.

This is the closest picture I could get of the Mandir. No photos after that point.

Now, while I know very little about Hinduism, I do know to be respectful and follow the posted rules.  One of the rules that stood out was the restriction on photography/filming inside and outside of the mandir.  I even emailed to inquire if we could bring sketchbooks (we could) because I didn’t want to be an asshole.

One of the best parts of our tour was a woman visiting the shrine.  She was blatantly shooting video on her phone which really aggravated me.  When the staff/volunteers began to approach her, she quickly put her phone away and made the “it’s okay” gesture at the men.  They made her delete the photos and videos.

Best. Day. Ever.

Best. Day. Ever.

We had a great time, though to no one’s surprise the kids were not fans of Indian food.  Too spicy or too bean-y or just too out of their comfort zone.  I actually wasn’t much of a fan either, but maybe it was simply because it was prepared in a snack bar/cafe instead of a restaurant…which really doesn’t make sense because the snack bar/cafe food is usually super good in these out of the way places.  No matter, a good time was had by all.

Did I mention I'm a child?  Yeah, every time I say the word, this pops into my head.

Did I mention I’m a child? Yeah, every time I say the word, this pops into my head.

Brain Dump: Surgery

I’m going to have surgery!

Not this surgery, though it’s urgently needed.

I’m getting my stupid ass carpal tunnel fixed!  I’ve complained about it from time to time.  Started during my first pregnancy with very, very light swelling.  Apparently, it just focused on that one spot.  If you are not familiar with carpal tunnel, maybe check out this video of open carpel tunnel release surgery -or- just look at this picture:

Just some information for you.

Outpatient, local anesthesia, cut open your hand, find the transverse carpal ligament and cut it.  Stitch it all up and get the fuck out.

FYI, I made the kids watch that video.  This could be the thing that pushes them into medicine.  Or therapy.  Whatever.

It has been getting worse and worse and worse.  Swelling, pain, numbness all the time.  Yes, my finger tips are numb as I type.  But I know how to type and I can still make my fingers move, so that’s how I’m still creating this magic.

I wish I could move my fingers.

It hurts to drive.  It hurts to go to the bathroom.  Sleeping is a pain.  Driving.  Buttons on clothing?  NAH let’s wear sweats for the rest of this blistering hot summer.  I have been trying to cook and freeze meals while I wait on a surgery date.  *sigh*

3 months of recovery?  On average, anyway.  Other people just ready to go a couple weeks after surgery.  Right hand first, then left.  I need to get both done before August because of my insurance.  I have a $500 deductible right now.  $500!  My last insurance was $4000.  PER PERSON.  $8000 per family, so basically, it was financially practical for all of us to get into a plane crash rather than just one or two people get hospitalized in a year.  It’s all about planning, people.

Co-pays don’t count against deductibles though, so all those $50 specialist co-pays are adding up.  It’s a fucking racket.

Every doctor, ever.  SMOKING.  HYPOCRITES. 

I have so much to talk about but my mind is very scatterbrained.  Hopefully I’ll get scheduled tomorrow so I can have a countdown.  In the mean time, I’m just driving my hands into the ground doing all of the things that I’m about not going to be able to do.