entertainment, health, life, miscellaneous

Post-Post Op Post

So after surgery I couldn’t do anything with my right hand which sucks because it’s incredibly dominant.  As in Ol’ Lefty can’t do anything.  Toilet time is the worst.  THE WORST.  Aquarium maintenance is fucking awful but I must say, my back and left arm hurt a LOT so I guess I have that going for me.  The last time my left arm was stronger than my right arm was when I cashiered; right hand grabs the stuff, left hand bags and puts it in the cart.  It’s really weird to use my left hand and I have to stop myself from grabbing things with my right hand out of habit.  So, here’s what I did while I was being pathetic:

BOOKS

They were all so young and the pictures are so haunting.

I read Dead Mountain: The Untold True Story of the Dyatlov Pass Incident.  I’ve loved this story since I was a child and I was always in the paranormal conspiracy camp.  This book gives some real discussion as to what exactly happened and I think the answer makes a lot of sense.  The only part of the book I didn’t like was that it was half story, half introspective writing and the introspective part bored me.  I can say that it really built up to the ending and explored all the angles.  All in all, it’s a real tragedy no matter what you think happened.

Meow. MEOW.

Second book was The Cinder Spires: The Aeronaut’s Windlass by the amazing Jim Butcher.  I’m totally a fangirl but when I started reading it, it wasn’t exactly my cup of tea.  For about two pages and then I read it all in one day.  That’s the real fucking shit right there–I wait for months if not years for a new book to come out and the authors have the gall to write a book that I read non-stop in one day.  Lather, rinse, repeat.  So discourteous.  It’s a steam-punk world and the writing is very visual.  I felt like I could absolutely see everything.  If you’ve read The Codex Alera series and of course The Dresden Files some of the ideas and imagery will be familiar but I’m not giving anything away.  I am not saying that he writes some timeless literature, but I will say he writes damn good fucking stories that I can’t put down and I want to binge read them until my eyeballs fall out.

He’s going to be at Dragon Con this year and the Mr. and the Boy are going AND I AM NOT BECAUSE THE WORLD ISN’T FAIR but hopefully the Mr. will get Jim’s autograph on a piece of sheet music that I have.  Then again, I bet they won’t even get his autograph because the lines will be crazy pants.  Maybe I’ll just write him a fan letter and enclose the sheet music for him to sign.  Because that won’t make me sound crazy.

Fan Girls Gone Wild

Last but not least, I read Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns).  A fun, quick read that was overly relatable in some places but not so much in others.  You have friends?  You have family?  Okay, Miss Perfect!  But seriously, I thought it was an honest little memoir, funny, and interesting without the gut wrenching confessions that you get in a lot of these types of books.  As in, normal girl does well!  Let’s congratulate her on not getting pregnant at 14 and becoming a heroin addict!   I want to be best friends with her but I’m 100% not cool enough.

NETFLIX AND TV AND CHILI DOGS

There was no Netflix and chill, but there was cravings for chili dogs but I couldn’t drive so I had to settle for nothing.  Story of my life.  Binge watched Expedition Unknown because I like Josh Gates and I miss Destination Truth.  This episode in particular scared the shit out of me.

I also binge watched The Dead Files.  I want so, so badly for it to be real.  I know it’s probably not, but I like it.  Steve DiSchiavi gives it credibility in my mind.  I want it to be real.

I do, I really, really do.

I also think that Amy Allen looks like Flo from the Progressive Insurance commercials.  Google “Amy Allen faces” to get a chuckle.

Twinsies.

I did watch some movies too, for as much as I could stay awake for.  Drugs are one helluva drug.  Lots of fun silliness–I couldn’t concentrate for the more serious films (sorry, Jiro Dreams of Sushi).

I have also been playing a lot of Civ IV because I don’t need two hands for that.

And that really sums up my exciting adventures.  Whee.

entertainment, life

Father’s Day Nerd Fun

Ahh, Father’s Day weekend, one of the better times of year.  Usually because Father’s day means I get to go out to dinner and eat steak and possibly watch a movie.  I mean, I have to go with the Mr. and the family but I’d probably do that anyway, so that’s fine.

We *finally* went to see World of Warcraft!  I loved it!  I know, surprise, right?  Truthfully, I had serious concerns.  Let’s face it—fantasy movies have a high possibility of horribleness.

Not all of them.  I mean, some are horrible in the best way.

So first, all of the things I liked:

I didn’t get it at first.

Anduin Lothar: I have nothing bad to say about a young Anduin Lothar. Great acting and completely believable as the loyal hero of legend.  “Who needs boots when your giant balls can keep your feet warm?” – actual quote from the movie*.

I do parties. In fact, I am the party. Click his face for more!

(Former?) Apprentice Khadgar: LOOK AT BABY KHADGAR! You can really see the snarky Archmage in this character and I felt like you could get the sense of the power of his real natural abilities.

All the other things:  While we did wait to see the movie specifically for Father’s Day weekend, I can honestly say I avoided everything possible regarding the movie so that I could be surprised when I saw it.  I didn’t know who was playing who other than Travis Fimmel in the part of Anduin Lothar.  The background shots were exquisite.  The costuming was so accurately detailed and felt so true to the lore, the stories, the games, the books.  Buildings, animals (HOLY SHIT THAT GRYPHON), the ambiance via the towns people, the murlocs, the panning views across Elwynn Forest!

Medivh:  The acting and power were there, actual lore, not so much.  I did appreciate how large scale spells are depicted which stays truer to lore compared to video game mechanics.  I will say I really, really hate how they tinkered with his story, but it’s a good excuse to post this clip.

And for bonus, another cinematic for the upcoming release of Legion.  I haven’t pre-ordered but I will.  Probably a week before launch because I’m lazy.  The cover of Dust in the Wind on top of the graphics is really moving.  I may or may not have cried in the movie theater when this showed.  Don’t judge me.

Now, onto the parts of the movie that I believe fell short.  I give this movie a 7 out of 10 which sounds incredibly harsh but the opportunity for improvement was so high.  I am going to write this as spoiler-free as possible, but it’s also possible I’m the last person on the planet to have seen the movie since it’s been out a whole week and a half.

Knowledge is power.

I do not take the honor of Loremaster lightly.  The story that was written for Garona was so watered down and stylized.  Unnecessary changes.  I understand the use of plot device and the movie is not the book, not the game, and not the lore.  But come on.  She is translating for a Draenei at the beginning of the movie FFS!  Maybe the sequels will make it all come together, but there was NO REASON FOR IT TO NOT BE TOGETHER NERD RAAAAAGE!

She’s making that face because her story doesn’t make sense.

 

That armor is for show. FOR SHOW I SAY!  Garona is still making that face.

King Llane.  Nice enough guy.  Behavior of a king?  Give me a fucking break.  His actions are not the actions of someone who trusts in The Guardian and there was no reason for him not to.  While the scene (and if you’ve seen it you know what I’m talking about) was necessary to move the story along quickly, the decision was not his to make.  I’m not going to spoil it BUT COME ON AGAIN.  I am writing in ALL CAPS AND SAYING NOTHING BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN IT WAS SO DUMB HOLY FUCK WHAT A WIENER.

Blame Pip. It’s always PIppen’s fault.

The foreground plants.  This is the dumbest, nit-pickingist of them all but the fucking plants.  The ents in LOTR: The Two Towers ruined plants in movies forever.  Look at how fake that shit is.  I want real motherfucking ents.  PAY MORE FOR THE REAL THING, HIRE ENTS NOT PEOPLE IN ENT FACE. A desert/dry area scene and a spot overlooking the orc camp.  This kind of detail pisses me off.  There were plenty of other outside scenes where the setting is perfect.  One unnatural, plastic-y rustling and my suspension of disbelief is out the window.

Orcs.

Because this makes more sense.

Did we have to change the story behind every major orc character?  Really?  That’s not how this works!  That’s not how any of this works!

Your skin is green because you are full of lies.

7 out of 10 isn’t bad.  I’d own it, but not pay to see it again in the theater.  I loved it more than I didn’t and as far as movies made from video games, comic books, novels, etc, I’d say it did well.  The onus is on the second movie now to show why all these changes were made and to move the story along at an acceptable pace.

Overall a good Father’s Day.  It’s usually an easy time to get lost in nostalgia but this is the first time in a long time that it felt as if we were all living in the present.

A nice present indeed.

*actual quote is actual quote.  Watch the movie, it’s in there.

entertainment

ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod

I have been living under a fucking rock or something.  I missed this FilmDrunk post from 4/4 about a little movie called Only God Forgives.  Baby Goose is in it:

I like to imagine these directors work with him, and then Baby Goose goes home and the directors get all sad and lonely, so they secretly take the shirt he wore home from wardrobe and sleep with it, and then they dream about him all night and wake up with the room smelling like butter and maple syrup. It’s Baby Goose magic. He’s like Santa Claus, only cuter.

Did you know it opens on my birfday?  You bought me gratuitous violence for my birthday?  How did you know?  IT’S MY FAVORITE!

Two more trailers in today’s post from FilmDrunk.  I didn’t think I could love FilmDrunk more than I already did, but OH MY.

Maybe it’s the music.  Maybe it’s the Thai setting.  Maybe it’s because the corrupt police officer looks a little bit like my friend’s Dad.  Most likely it’s the violence.  Either way, I’M SCREAMING BECAUSE I’M EXCITED!

entertainment, home

Happy New Year!

I have spent the past few hours prepping my bedroom for paint.  My box springs are on the front lawn and my mattress (where I am comfortably lounging watching Saints v. Panthers) is on the living room floor.  The Christmas tree is still up.  The kids running around being kids.  Not bad for the first day of the year.

All the upheaval in bedroom furniture comes from our shopping spree yesterday at The Dump (nice name, right?).  We bought a new mattress AND a new solid wood mahogany bed AND two new nightstands.  I am 32 years old and have been married for 9 years.  I’ve owned my home for 8 years.  We have never had a bed for our king sized mattresses and we have never ever had nightstands.  I’m really excited and I wish I had pictures.  I will post once it’s all set up.  Everything was supposed to be delivered today but they screwed up the scheduling so now it will be delivered on Tuesday.  This is good because 1.) $99 + tax delivery fee is waived 2.) I don’t have to kill myself painting my bedroom in less than one day (I was only going to paint one wall, but now I can do the whole room properly) and 3.) I get to camp out in the living room!  I’m a dork.

In other news, I am going to start digging my grave now, because I feel old as shit:  Wayne’s World is 20 years old now.

Classic

How did 20 years pass already?  This is truly one of my favorite movies.  So ridiculous, so funny.

Thought provoking.

When I say “I laughed, I cried, I hurled” to my children, they will think I’ve had a stroke or  possibly early onset dementia.  Will they think of Jimi Hendrix when hearing “Foxy Lady” or will they see Garth dancing in a doughnut shop?  Worrisome.

Excellent.
entertainment

On Getting Old(er)

The first time I saw him was in the late 90’s and he was perfectly cute in that 90’s way.  Just enough of a bad boy without being a total criminal.  He did just enough drugs without being a junkie.  He was stupid but not completely retarded.  And he had that 90’s hair:

Mark 'Dags' D'Agastino--he even had a 90's style nickname!

Fast forward to present and our hero is now 40 years old.  Which makes me no longer in high school.  I’m happy to be an adult, but this is a painful and somewhat disgusting reminder that I’m an ADULT.

Now, I am not going to hate on Avengers, because I LOVE THE AVENGERS IN ALL CAPS.  Clint Barton is supposed to be young, but in the upcoming movie, he’s going to look like this:

What's the male equivalent of "butterface"?

Body?  HOT.  Costume?  HOT.  Face?

He's sad faced because I'm such a bitch.

Now, when I’m watching the movie, I am confident that I won’t even notice.  I know this is petty and small, but you know, I’m petty and small.

Oh, Black Widow boobies, how I covet thee.
Turkey neck. Insert sad trombone sound here. http://failfx.com/

 

entertainment

This is a blog post

I’m really tired.  I haven’t had enough sleep and yet I’ve had more than enough stress.  Now that doesn’t sound fair!  Speaking of nothing, do you read Film Drunk?  Because you should.  You should read it and you should like it.  Nay, you should LOVE it.  Today, I read about the new Spider-man movie and apparently it’s amazing.  As in, it is titled The Amazing Spider-Man.

Who did his hair?
Oh, now we know.

Now, lest you think I am not a fan of Marcel, I am a super fan of Marcel.  I don’t think he’s an asshole–I think he’s competitive and clever; two qualities which definitely can come off as asshole-y.  Assholish?  Assholishness?  God, asshole is a terrible word.  Anyway:

Web shooters: You're doing it wrong.

I will post more when I awaken from my magical slumber.  Good news though, it’s not my night with the baby, so I can get all hepped up on goof-balls and sleep.  Yay!

life

I dreamt I was an assistant again

But in this dream, I was Tony Stark’s assistant which was awesome. Who doesn’t want to be Iron Man’s assistant??

Photobucket Downside–I was totally in love with him.

Second negative–he had just broken up with his long time girlfriend and needed me to interview new girlfriends.

I’m a failure even in my dreams.

I was hanging out with some girls and was telling them about how I work so hard and have never been to Tony’s country house, but that I wasn’t complaining because in the past year he had only been out there once with the ex girlfriend and once after his mother died. I also had a fanfuckingtastic penthouse loft apartment in the city. If I was going to live in a dream world with unrequited love from Tony Stark, at least I was living in style.

I interviewed a woman for Tony and I remember it was a really elaborate interview because it seemed to take all day. He decided he wanted to take her out to dinner so I had her get ready at the office (because we were also a salon, too?) and I had her wear a dress that Tony bought for me (but I never got to wear because I worked so much). I was surprisingly not jealous even though she looked way better in it than I did.

Suddenly, I’m at Tony’s house and they are gone on their date. I’m nosing around and realize that Tony’s shower is in his bedroom and it doesn’t appear that there is a drain on the floor. Like, he takes a shower right on the carpet. Is there an unseen drain under the carpet? It was very weird.

I was not Tony’s first assistant–Pepper Potts was still his main assistant.

Photobucket Top of the assistant chain.

I was joking with her that I’d have to kill her to be his main assistant and for some reason she didn’t find that funny.

entertainment, life

A dream is but a dream.

I had some awesome dreams last night. The second dream was cool but I don’t remember much of it other than I was trying to get to work and I was on a motorcycle. There was this thing running through the trees above me and it jumped down on me–it was a little girl and kept trying to knock her off. She’d jump straight up into the trees again and kind of torment me; sometimes she’d ride a bicycle and keep pace with me. Eventually we got to my office and she came in and my vampire hunter (yes, in this dream I had my own personal vampire hunter thankyouverymuch) and he told me to kill it even though everyone else was like “oh it’s a little girl” boo hoo. I ended up stabbing her in the neck with an ink pen and I assume the vampire hunter finished her off as we all know that a pen in the neck does not kill a vampire. I blame this dream on watching Underworld right before bed.

The first dream was much more elaborate and stranger. Yes, stranger than stabbing a little girl vampire in the neck. For me, that’s probably what you’d call an “average” dream. Anyway, I was college and lived in an off campus coed house. It was filled with a lot of people I knew from my current life and from high school, but we were all freshmen. There were a lot of rooms in the house and it was on top of a hill overlooking a lake. Everyone shared rooms and beds but it wasn’t in a sexual way. There were multiple beds in the living room and I shared a bed with two male friends. Stop being pervy. ANYWAY, someone threw my tennis shoes down the hill to the waters edge. The only other shoes I had were high heeled sandals so I had to get my tennis shoes back. People were on the shore and even waist deep in the water fishing and I was trying to maneuver my way down to the shore through the mud. My shoes ended up in the rocks by the waters edge and very close to the art building. The only reason I went through the mud and over rocks was becuase I didn’t want to have to walk all the way over to the art building and go around it. By the time I found my shoes, I was kind of mad because they were really close to the art building and I saved no time at all. I decided to go back home through the art building rather than go back through the mud so I started navigating the various floors through the building. Each floor had different classrooms and galleries and some were having large scale presentations. One floor had a high level presentation going on and a cocktail meet and greet after; suddenly I realized that I was missing my underwear. As I was trying to escape, I got cornered and ended up telling my story to a group of people who seemed to think it was hilarious. The next thing I know, a roommate from my house shows up and he had lost his underwear too, so we sneaked on the art bus to look for them. The art people boarded the bus for a field trip so we were suddenly stowaways. All of the art people were really cool and some were pretty gothy so my roommate and I stood out quite a bit. After being on the road for a while, the teacher said she felt that there were some extra people on the buss and in the very back three guys in shirts and ties suddenly stood up and started singing gospel music and playing guitars. Everyone groaned and laughed because they were Jehovah’s Witnesses trying to convert them. Other students discovered my roommate and me so I told the story again about what were doing. A really gothy girl said she found them and sold them for $20. The guy sitting next to her was Patrick Fugit and he said “best $20 I ever spent” and everyone laughed and laughed. I laughed too, and asked him if I even wanted them back and he was just being nice and gave me my underwear.

Photobucket
Theft by receiving stolen goods

You might not know who Patrick Fugit is, but he was in Almost Famous, White Oleander, Saved! and my favorite, Wristcutters: A Love Story:

Photobucket

He’s cute in a very unconventional way and I like him but he’s not really boyfriend material (for me, anyway). He’s younger than I am and not quite 6ft tall. Tsk, tsk. He could probably win me over, but he’s too shy to try:

Photobucket

EDIT: I was just on Facebook and I saw this ad for Gucci and thought it was underwear:

Photobucket

I got undies on the brain!