children, health, home, life, web

Something to Talk About

3 Months!

Everything has happened, so let’s have a photo dump:

1. Halloween happened and it was awesome.

Ghost Bride and Harry Potter
Ghost Bride and Harry Potter

Moaning Myrtle married Harry Potter?  Nah.  I asked Robin what her back story was and she said her father murdered her right before she got married.  What the fuck, kid.


Her dress is a Cheapos Thrift find for either $5 or $10.  I can’t remember now.  I believe it’s a size 4, so lots of alterations.  I appreciate how the kids seem to be taking turns wanting homemade vs. store bought costumes which makes me very grateful.  My wrists are 99% now and I can do things.  Without pain, even!

Now I have TWO strong hands.
Now I have TWO strong hands.

2.  Joshua became a Cobra Kai.

Serious kid is serious.
Serious kid is serious.

Okay, maybe not.  His uniform has sleeves, so he can’t be Cobra Kai.  Yet.  He joined the intermediate black belt training, tested for his second level brown belt (red is next!) and started weapons training.

I’m particularly proud of how dedicated he is.  $200 of his own money went to paying for gear (weapons, bag, pads).  He is getting $25 a month back from Mom and Dad, but he made the initial investment.  He’s more mature and responsible than I am.

3.  There was an election of some sort which I deem completely unnecessary for discussion here.

Regardless of which side, your vote didn't matter.
Regardless of which side, your vote didn’t matter.

4.  Robin started with a new violin teacher.  She’s also now in a 1/4 size violin.  She also had a birthday and it was all good.

“hair crayons” are exactly what they sound like.

5.  Christmas!  I honestly don’t have any good pictures of the kids from Christmas because I’m an asshole I guess.  But I have the next best thing:

Santa is shorter in person.
Santa is shorter in person.
His elves are adorable jerks, though.
His elves are adorable jerks, though.
It has a HOOD!
It has a HOOD!
He couldn't care less that is has a hood.
He couldn’t care less that is has a hood.

6.  We had a blizzard and it was horrifying.

Behold the wrath of Mother Nature!
Behold the wrath of Mother Nature!

In case I didn’t feel crazy enough, I’ve decided to do ChÜberlist 2017 – The Year of the Slug.  It’s already a couple of weeks late so I’m off to a great start.

I'm getting ready, 2017.  Time to get serious.
I’m getting ready, 2017. Time to get serious.

Merry Christmas/Happy New Year/Joyeux ChÜberlist: 2014–The Year of the Things

HI.  I really want to backdate this entry, but what’s the fun in that?

Unrelated: It’s past midnight right now and I’m watching the Cotton Bowl and screaming at the TV.  It’s a serious butt-clencher, so bear with me.

I have so much to talk about so I don’t even know where to start.  First, I’ve done the unthinkable:

I have been Diet Coke free for a month.

I know, I can barely believe it either.  I realized that as I’ve aged (horribly) that I am more sensitive to medicines and drugs.  And since I was one step away from mainlining Diet Coke it mildly affected my sleeping pattern.  Apparently being tired all the time isn’t normal.  So, I’m still tired all the time, but now it’s just because I’m lazy and not because I’ve been up all night.  Baby steps.

Secondly, I’ve been playing WoW again and having a great time.  I finally got Nagrand Slam (months ago) which I hadn’t been able to do in all of my previous incarnations.


It’s the little, insignificant things in my imaginary life that make me happy.  Imaginary awards are where it’s at.

The holidays were a crap shoot but I made a literal (not literal) ton of food.  HOLY SHIT THAT TURNOVER AND TOUCH DOWN WITH 55 SECONDS LEFT ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?  I had an out of town guest!  Crazy pants.  The kids had a great Christmas.  Here are my favorite pictures:

Every girl wants a cold mist humidifier!
The enthusiasm for this set of bakeware is electric!

Those boxes  may or may not have had girly Legos and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle figures.  Maybe next year they’ll both have matured enough to appreciate the gift of self sufficient baking and well hydrated sinuses.

I have so much more to discuss, but it will have to wait.  Here’s the plan for this year:

1. Stay married.  2013 was a year wrought with bullshit on all sides.   It’s complicated and dumb and there were lawyers and things.  But, after everything, it boils down to being deliberate with actions and choices.  
2. Don’t kill myself.  Or, more specifically, to be more accepting of my own mental illness.  I’ve had serious struggles with depression throughout my life (nature and nurture, yay) and it’s just come to a point in my life where I refuse to have terror discussing it.
3. Donate my hair to Pantene Beautiful Lengths
4. Buy more track pants.  Because I can’t bring myself to wear sweat pants out in public and track pants are still bad but also comfy.
5. Quit buying souvenir tee shirts.  At least buy a fucking polo or hooded sweatshirt.  Pleb. 
6. Have “dinner” clothes. Jeans and a tee shirt are not acceptable for all restaurants. 
7. Organize my life, at least a little bit.  I have had this book for so many years and just realized that the cover showed ‘ducks in a row’.  I’m slowwwwwww.
8. Own more footwear than flip flops and men’s tennis shoes.  Not uncomfortable shoes, mind you, but maybe nothing orthopedic. 
9. Manicure.  Not just because I don’t want to look like a vagrant, but also because I read somewhere, sometime, in a land far, far away that painting your fingernails is important for your mental well being.  There are few other activities where you have to simply sit and wait.

More Stuff
10. Sky Scarf  I’m going to call it a Skarf.
11. Finish Christmas stockings
12. Plan Christmas crafts for 2014, finish by October 31
13. Birthday socks for the kids done ON TIME for once.
14. New hats and scarves for the kids by Thanksgiving
15. Quilt all the things!
16. Clean up my fucking craft room for once
17. Recreate and chart the only two hand made things I have left from my Grandmother
18. Argyle something

Other things
19. Fix my knee either by doctor or amputation
20. Stay caffeine free
21. Eat fruit and yogurt every day.    This is nice…I ate a huge plate of pizza rolls the other day
22. Start tracking my water intake and drink enough plain water a day to pass the pee test
23. Wake up at 7 AM to have an hour to myself before the kids want something
24. Journal every day, even if it’s just one word
25. Learn to meditate without falling asleep

Everything else
26. Replace master bath sink faucets by myself.
27. Replace shower door.
28. Paint everything in the bathroom
29. Seal off jets in tub to make a soaking tub.
30. Blog more regularly, multiple times a week.
31. Watch more movies.
32. Get the ice maker fixed
33. Comment more on blogs I like.  I did this tonight and I got a notice that it went directly to spam.  And then I crawled back into my creeper hole in the ground.
34. Accept my weird and creepy nature.  Specifically, I’m just  myself.  I’d rather say something overly nice and risk being weird and creepy to have the slim chance of making someone happy.
35. Give people the benefit of the doubt when they say something nice to me.  As opposed to immediately thinking they’re making fun of me.  Which they usually are.  Which I’m sure they’re not.

I feel like I should add more to this; as usual I’ll probably add more later and give myself extra credit.

I need extra credit on my own resolution list.

Happy New Year!


RE: ChÜberlist 2012

Oh what a fucking fuck fuck this year has been.  First, the numbers:

Of the whopping 38 things I wanted to do this year, I did 17 things.   Ugh.  45% is not my worst by any means, but I seriously expected to do better since I had fewer items on my list.  And then everything went all to shit and here we are.  I think I’ll declare that from now on, election years are totally out of the question.  Or maybe years when a parent dies. Or when a cat dies.  Or while I have children living in my home.

Oh fuck it.  You know I’m already working on my ChÜberlist 2013, right?  Masochist.

I do have plans, you know.  For instance, this:

Look at that crazy person handwriting.

In other news, I hope you had a nice Christmas or Hanukkah  or Winter Solstice or what the fuck ever you were doing for the past few weeks.

My sole Christmas present. She’s cute, though.  The laptop doesn’t count.

New Year’s Eve is here and I plan on having a better time this year.  No apocalypses scheduled, no serious drama on the horizon.  Famous last words, right?

entertainment, life

Some People Have Problems

And when I say problems, I mean this:

Why is my goblin dressed like a stripper?

Someone.  Someone explain to me why my goblin is wearing a halter top, bikini underwear and garters.   Thanks a lot, heirloom gear.  I understand that the WoW demographic is overwhelmingly male, but really?  This?

You know what?  I don’t want to know.  Let’s just leave this question alone.

And since I’m talking about problems, I guess I’ll note here that it’s almost 1 AM and I’m having sleep anxiety again.  I guess I’ll take something.  I had a terrible dream this morning.  It was not the scariest, per se, but let’s just say that it was easily the most disturbing dream I’ve had.  I tried to ignore it but the acid in my stomach just exploded.  Of course it did.  Because why wouldn’t it when I’m taking the kids out to breakfast and to drop off letters to Santa and the neighbors are outside?  Opening the car door and puking in your driveway is just another way to stay classy, I suppose.

On the upside, Christmas cards are done, blank pages are being sent to the North Pole (like I’d really send off my first born man child’s Christmas list that he wrote with his own hand!) and it’s finally cold enough for me to wear a tee shirt instead of tank tops.  Everyone else is in footie pjs and sweatshirts but they are lucky I’m not opening the windows.  Cold enough to make soup for dinner.  I wish it would last for a couple months at least instead of a few days.

Fun fact: my son was having trouble with the n in “thank you” but he can spell Nerf Blaster  easy peasy.  Thank you, target advertising.  It’s the only thing he asked Santa for because Santa has a lot to do and he knows Mom does most of the shopping anyway.  SMART BOY.

I have more to discuss like my new baby but it can be summed up here:

Yeah…pretty accurate, actually. I’M VERY EXCITABLE!

This is pretty much my Christmas, Hanukkah  New Year’s, Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Tax Season End present.  I will take it and be grateful.


Merry Christmas Eve and some other stuff

Christmastime is strange now.  I have another adult in the house and am allowed to go to the bathroom with the door shut.  It’s like bizarro world here.

Maybe not so bizarro; there is still laundry everywhere.

My exciting day is going to be filled with laundry and cleaning.  I just don’t like having the house a mess on Christmas.

In other news, I had a dream about my grandmother last night.  She was there and then she wasn’t.  I described it as how people see ghosts–she didn’t look like how she did the last time I saw her (5 years ago).  She was younger, thinner.  Her hair was different.  she was my Grandmother from 10 or 15 years ago.  When I woke up, I cried as if she had just died, not as if I found out via Google over a year later.  I still have a headache from it.  I’ve never had a dream about my Grandmother.

So after a big Christmas Eve breakfast, lots of coffee and watching sea otters*, I’m hanging out watching Roseanne and it’s the episode where Becky has to get birth control.  This episode makes me crazy.  How am I going to do this with my kids?  I don’t want to have this conversation.  It makes me want to brick up the house with the kids inside.

Scratch that.  I don’t want them to get all Flowers in the Attic-y.

I think I’m going to set up a system where we have to talk about something terrible and uncomfortable like, once a month or something.

Pick an STD out of the hat!

The Christmas gifts I sent this week were received yesterday in good shape.  Cookies were eaten, woolies were worn.  I’m actively working on two gifts, which thankfully do not have a deadline.  I’m well past the deadline.

*Fun fact:  Otters have 1 million hairs per square inch; compare that to dogs which have 100,000 hairs per square inch.  Thanks, Jeff Corwin!

crafty, news

Burned Out

It’s that time of year.  I’m burned out.  I’m getting sick of doing things for everyone else.  It sounds bad–I love making things and doing things for others.  It is in my nature.  But I don’t like deadlines and I find that this is the time of year that the lack of reciprocation is more pronounced.  It’s just an exhausting time of year, and with my graceful fall and subsequent sicky cruds, I’m just kind of done.

No, not extra love. Panic.

Tomorrow is going to be filled with weaving in ends, wool soak, baking cookies and prepping a package that BY GOD HAD BETTER GET TO ITS INTENDED RECIPIENT BEFORE CHRISTMAS.

Anyway, I started on the border of my miter square blanket and I like it.  The Mr. decidedly does not like it because “the white doesn’t really go with it”.  What?  The squares were intentionally whip stitched with white so it would show up.  I wanted an old fashioned feel to this And. I. Like. It.  It’s kind of patriotic.  Any resemblance to any political logos are purely unintentional.

Everyone can bite my shiny metal ass.

I haven’t weaved in any of the ends yet but I just needed some mindless knitting today.  It was necessary.

Knitting Ryan might have to go into my boyfriend album on Facebook.

In other news, Kim Jong Il died…like yesterday?  Something like that.  News hit the US tonight.  I found out on Twitter before I found out on the news.  I love and hate the world where I get my serious news and fake animal tweets all in the same place.


Whats the CRAPS?

No, no.  No one had the craps.  But read Selkie.  I love it and you will, too.  The art progressively gets better and the story is wonderful (so far).  It will tug at your black, shriveled-up heart strings.

Also, I’m dumb, I didn’t know that the word ‘selkie’ is an actual mythological creature.  That comic makes a lot more sense and I’m slightly less stupid than I was a minute ago.

If you were unaware, it’s the fifth fucking day of the last fucking month of the year.  Which means I have less than 20 days until Christmas and much less considering shipping.  I tried, I really tried.  I only have a few knitted things left.

And a whole quilt.  That is not close to being done.  FML.  AND, for the second year in a row, I didn’t make my son a personalized Christmas stocking even though his younger sister has one.  He doesn’t know any better because right now, he has the biggest stocking and that’s all that matters when you’re 4.  But as a mom, I feel like a total failure.

As a wife, I am also feeling failure-ish because the Mr. is a lizard and always has cold feet.  Every pair of socks I’ve knitted he has mentioned this fact to me.  I said I would make him birthday socks (February) which he balked at because it’s cold NOW.  (It was 71 degrees today, I hate up and down weather).  So I am making worsted wool socks for the Mr.  No way would I be done with an actual sock yarn sock in time for Christmas.  Now he will have some very warm, thick socks.  And then I’ll just have to make him the sweater that I’ve been promising him for the past 5 years or so.

The kids and I made bead and pipe cleaner ornaments.  I fingerprinted them and took DNA samples.  Robin had her first real puke on me and felt cruddy for about half a day.  The blanket I blogged about last is done save for a border and weaving in ends.  I use it every day, which I probably shouldn’t.  I worry it’s going to fall apart but it’s not like I can’t fix it.

I haven’t really taken any pictures except for some things that have gone directly to Facebook.  My November update isn’t done, haven’t thought one iota about a list for next year.  I’ve only been slightly lazy but have definitely not been feeling guilty or blargy about it.  There has been great football on, I’ve been buying Christmas gifts for my kids (and myself!) and will surely get some pictures of something soon.  What I really need to do is blog about the dreams I’ve been having, but I’ll save that for another post.

crafty, entertainment


So, once upon a time, before it was a show, Game of Thrones was a book in a series.  And before it was trendy, I’d often think “Winter is Coming”.  And sometimes that phrase gets mangled in my mind:

103 days, but who’s counting?

Anyway, part of my Christmas giving is due at Thanksgiving, which means I have even less time to do everything I need to do.  I finished one half of one gift last night.

At first I was all…
And then I was like…
But at last I was done. With this meme joke, anyway.

Now, I will never think of foxes without thinking of this:

I was so nerdy excited about this it took me just a few hours.  I freeformed one strand of acrylic and two strands of fun fur, knit in the round and turned purl side out.  Knitted directly to a crocheted belt.  It’s for a 7 year old girl, so it’s only 20″ long.  Since my towels are not the best model of fox tails, here are some action shots by a more photogenic model:

Invisible samurai sword.
“Shake your foxy tail” sounds creepy. Not that I didn’t say it, though.
Two young cheesy fox cubs.

There will also be a foxy hat, but not furry.  Well, maybe in the ears a little bit.  We’ll see.   So much more to do!  Miles of yarn to go before I sleep!


Outgoing Christmas Schwag Part 4: I am so done with this shit

I. Am. So. Done. With. This. Shit. I’m tired. My hands ache. My feets ache. I think some people are appreciative and some people are not. Here is one person who is adorably appreciative of the very last and very last minute hat of the season:

A.K.A. Little Robin Lou Who

“I’m beginning to feel far away and visionary.” Bonus if you know what movie that line’s from.



How happy? So happy I’m going to fly away!

Knit Picks Felici (color discontinued?) held double, 5k, 5p in the round, no decreases, 3 needle bind off and pom poms. Still took forever, but at least was done by Christmas.

I’m ready for Christmas to be over, and for 2010 to be flushed down the crapper. I’m tired. TI-ERRRRRD.


Outgoing Christmas Schwag Part 2: Fuzzy Feet Felt Fantastic

Alliteration is the friend of the nerd.

I made some cute knitted and felted slippers for my friend for Christmas. It’s amazing how HUGE they are before knitting. In hindsight, I could have made them smaller to begin with, but what’s the fun in that? Fuzzy Feet on Ravelry and on Knitty.

Yarn held double to make it thick and slipper like. 215 yards per slipper!

For scale.

For scale and freakin’ adorability!


Shitty cell phone pic after felting. A good picture before mailing is just not how I do things.

When it was done, I felted it to be loose on me, and her feet are smaller than mine. so basically, I gave her a chore for Christmas. She loves her slippers though, so hopefully it will felt down even more.