Post Op

My surgery went better than expected.  I’m not at all reflecting on my Dr’s abilities, but I thought it was going to be a total shit show.

Expectation.

Happily, everything turned out great.  The surgical center staff was UH-mazing.  I mean, seriously.  I’ve been in the hospital too many times and there are so many things they could have screwed up but didn’t.

  • they gave me a gown that covered my ass
  • they had to do an IV on the back of each hand after no water since midnight the night before.  Perfection!
  • everyone was nice and didn’t treat me like an idiot
  • each member of the surgical team introduced him/herself and let me know what their role was going to be

There were some things that I was pretty disappointed in though:

  • I did not wake up with webspinners or laser implants in my wrist.
  • I didn’t get to watch.
  • I bothered with wearing a bra even though I could barely use my hands and I didn’t even need to.

Before we get on with the pictures, I’ll give you a play by play of the surgery.

I had open carpal tunnel release surgery on my right hand.  Everyone and their dog made sure that we were all on the same page so that I didn’t wake up with my left ankle cut in half of wake up with an accidental boob job.

That would have been a damn shame.

The doctor wrote his initials on my wrist because they damn sure aren’t going to screw up.  Left hand got an IV for fluids and right hand got an IV for numbing.  There was also a tourniquet on that arm so that the anesthesia was isolated to my hand/wrist area.

At this point everything was fine except I could feel the knife cutting in my hand.  Not a scratch, but that good, deep cut and subsequent digging cuts through the fat pad.  I said “I can feel that” and they gave me some medicine in my IV and the next thing that happened was the surgical nurse gave me my glasses back and wheeled me into recovery.  NICE!

Let’s be clear, it was no one’s fault that I could feel that and I would like to make it known that I didn’t scream like a maniac or anything.  This is something really important to me for some reason that I can’t place.  I don’t scream when I’m in pain, at least in the hospital.  Not for babies, not for manual removal of blood clots from my uterus, not for knives in my hand.  To be fair, I know I didn’t feel the entirety of the scalpel blade.  And drugs are the best.  Going from “I can feel that” to be to all done and no pain.  I went out to eat at IHOP afterwards and then home to sleep (surgery was early in the morning) and do drugs and watch TV.

Now, pictures!  Click on the black pictures to see the actual disgusting carnage if you want to, I don’t want to upset your delicate sensibilities.

My sweet, sweet nurse.

He was trying to make me feel better and didn’t leave my side for the first 24 hours.  Isn’t Jake wonderful!

July 7, one week after surgery.

Let it be known that I’m a shitty patient–I was not to remove the bandage at all.  I also couldn’t remove that piece of gauze because it was stuck to my stitches and would so I left it alone.  For a minute.

July 13, 2 weeks after surgery

Before I had my stitches out.  Getting them out wasn’t bad at all, surprisingly.  At this point I could shake the Dr’s hand so he was happy about that.  My follow up is in August which at that point I should be able to schedule Ol’ Lefty.

July 13, right after stitches out

Those Steri-Strips are really stuck on there good.  I should not have taken them off immediately.  It fucking hurt.  A lot.  I’m dumb.  You can also see the yellowing bruises from my wrist brace.  That hurt worse than the cut itself.

July 17

Just wishing that the ink would go away.

“RIGHT NOW”- Sammy Hagar

No more black boxes!

I’m happy with the result 1 million percent.  I started to notice immediately that my hand was tingling a lot–the result of nerves coming back to life.  I don’t know yet if I have any permanent nerve damage; only time will tell on that one.  My thumb so far is still quite numb, and less and less towards my little finger.  I also notice now that when I wake  up in the morning, there is no pain.  NO PAIN.  I know, right!  I also notice that my left hand is quite painful in the morning and basically all day.  Since both hands hurt so much, I never gave it much thought–it had become the norm for me.  Now it’s like a whole new world!

You know you know all the words.

I still can’t lift for shit, driving hurts my hand, I can’t mouse, I can’t open things.  I could give you a whole laundry list of whiny, bitch-ass complaining, but overall, I can do things again (slowly) with my right hand (just a little bit).  10/10 will do it again.

Surgery Update

So I can’t have surgery until June 30.

Fuck.

It’s going to take so long until I can flip the pickle again.

I know it’s shitty to bitch about it, but I’m so shitty.  I am forcing myself to do all the things that I won’t be able to do for who knows how long.  I was able to complete a cross stitch for the fancy Xingible and even a cross stitch note so I can make fun of myself.

*F*A*N*C*Y*

I sent that along with some other goodies, like some potato chips and miscellaneous treats.  I’m no hero, but I personally ate a few bags of those to make sure they were worthy of shipping across the globe.  Since I have a bit of time before surgery, I thought I would kill myself a bit more for one last big project.

Guess the design!

I can’t wait to get some more progress on this.  Hint:  it’s for the whole family, not just one person.  I’m already trying to plan the next one.  Then again, maybe when this is all done I’ll be itching to do something completely different.

Brain Dump: Surgery

I’m going to have surgery!

Not this surgery, though it’s urgently needed.

I’m getting my stupid ass carpal tunnel fixed!  I’ve complained about it from time to time.  Started during my first pregnancy with very, very light swelling.  Apparently, it just focused on that one spot.  If you are not familiar with carpal tunnel, maybe check out this video of open carpel tunnel release surgery -or- just look at this picture:

Just some information for you.

Outpatient, local anesthesia, cut open your hand, find the transverse carpal ligament and cut it.  Stitch it all up and get the fuck out.

FYI, I made the kids watch that video.  This could be the thing that pushes them into medicine.  Or therapy.  Whatever.

It has been getting worse and worse and worse.  Swelling, pain, numbness all the time.  Yes, my finger tips are numb as I type.  But I know how to type and I can still make my fingers move, so that’s how I’m still creating this magic.

I wish I could move my fingers.

It hurts to drive.  It hurts to go to the bathroom.  Sleeping is a pain.  Driving.  Buttons on clothing?  NAH let’s wear sweats for the rest of this blistering hot summer.  I have been trying to cook and freeze meals while I wait on a surgery date.  *sigh*

3 months of recovery?  On average, anyway.  Other people just ready to go a couple weeks after surgery.  Right hand first, then left.  I need to get both done before August because of my insurance.  I have a $500 deductible right now.  $500!  My last insurance was $4000.  PER PERSON.  $8000 per family, so basically, it was financially practical for all of us to get into a plane crash rather than just one or two people get hospitalized in a year.  It’s all about planning, people.

Co-pays don’t count against deductibles though, so all those $50 specialist co-pays are adding up.  It’s a fucking racket.

Every doctor, ever.  SMOKING.  HYPOCRITES. 

I have so much to talk about but my mind is very scatterbrained.  Hopefully I’ll get scheduled tomorrow so I can have a countdown.  In the mean time, I’m just driving my hands into the ground doing all of the things that I’m about not going to be able to do.