Something to Talk About

3 Months!

Everything has happened, so let’s have a photo dump:

1. Halloween happened and it was awesome.

Ghost Bride and Harry Potter

Ghost Bride and Harry Potter

Moaning Myrtle married Harry Potter?  Nah.  I asked Robin what her back story was and she said her father murdered her right before she got married.  What the fuck, kid.

My BABY in a WEDDING DRESS.

My BABY in a WEDDING DRESS.

Her dress is a Cheapos Thrift find for either $5 or $10.  I can’t remember now.  I believe it’s a size 4, so lots of alterations.  I appreciate how the kids seem to be taking turns wanting homemade vs. store bought costumes which makes me very grateful.  My wrists are 99% now and I can do things.  Without pain, even!

Now I have TWO strong hands.

Now I have TWO strong hands.

2.  Joshua became a Cobra Kai.

Serious kid is serious.

Serious kid is serious.

Okay, maybe not.  His uniform has sleeves, so he can’t be Cobra Kai.  Yet.  He joined the intermediate black belt training, tested for his second level brown belt (red is next!) and started weapons training.

I’m particularly proud of how dedicated he is.  $200 of his own money went to paying for gear (weapons, bag, pads).  He is getting $25 a month back from Mom and Dad, but he made the initial investment.  He’s more mature and responsible than I am.

3.  There was an election of some sort which I deem completely unnecessary for discussion here.

Regardless of which side, your vote didn't matter.

Regardless of which side, your vote didn’t matter.

4.  Robin started with a new violin teacher.  She’s also now in a 1/4 size violin.  She also had a birthday and it was all good.

“hair crayons” are exactly what they sound like.

5.  Christmas!  I honestly don’t have any good pictures of the kids from Christmas because I’m an asshole I guess.  But I have the next best thing:

Santa is shorter in person.

Santa is shorter in person.

His elves are adorable jerks, though.

His elves are adorable jerks, though.

It has a HOOD!

It has a HOOD!

He couldn't care less that is has a hood.

He couldn’t care less that is has a hood.

6.  We had a blizzard and it was horrifying.

Behold the wrath of Mother Nature!

Behold the wrath of Mother Nature!

In case I didn’t feel crazy enough, I’ve decided to do ChÜberlist 2017 – The Year of the Slug.  It’s already a couple of weeks late so I’m off to a great start.

I'm getting ready, 2017.  Time to get serious.

I’m getting ready, 2017. Time to get serious.

What were we talking about?

Oh yeah.

Coulrophobia:  [kool-ruhfoh-bee-uh] n. 1. An abnormal fear of clowns.

Kindergarten, 5 years old: Color and cut out the pieces of the clowns face and glue them onto this other piece of paper to make a happy clown!

sinister

I colored and cut it out and then I used too much glue.  I cried and cried because I had ruined it.  Spoiler:  it was not ruined because Elmer’s School Glue dries clear.  I was inconsolable.  Literally, my kindergarten teacher was holding me and rocking me back and forth to try to get me to calm down.  Thank you, Mrs. Garavaglia.  You were the best.

Pierrot clowns

spooky

They fall into the umbrella category of dolls.  I hate porcelain dolls.  Some are strikingly beautiful, but there is something sinister to me about dolls.  Dolls have been used in ritual magic from the dawn of time and are believed to be able to house the souls of the dead.

vintage

The movie Dolls, even with its terrible acting and special effects pretty much ruined me for life.  I rented that movie for a sleepover and again, no adult ever thought a thing about it.  Also, I rented that VHS movie because I’m old as hell.

Zeebo the Clown, and anything from Are You Afraid of the Dark?

ded

The intro says more than I ever could:

The clown from Poltergeist.

nightmare

It’s not chair scene, but still terrifying.  That chair scene kills me every time.

Ronald McDonald.  My sister told me that he raped kids.

life destroying

Jack in the Boxes

terrifying

Okay, not all of them are scary.  Look at this cute thing:

adorable

You know who wasn’t scary to me, though?  Bozo the Clown.  Thanks to WGN Chicago I watched him and his sidekick Cooky  and dreamed of throwing the ping pong balls in the numbered buckets.

endearing

I would never have been on the show but I still had that stage fright anxiety that I wouldn’t get a ping pong ball even in the first bucket.  I did not need to fail spectacularly in an ultra embarrassing way on national television.

Enough about clowns already!  Back to other pointless programming.

Shamanistic Soul Retreival: How to save a life

Source: Shamanistic Soul Retreival: How to save a life

I follow this great blog and you should, too.  Honestly, I do my best *not* to read it too often.  I can’t always handle it.  This particular blog caught my eye and I got sucked in to reading it.

So many. So much.

I wish I had this kind of experience when I was in the hospital.  The whole thing felt like a formality, really.  “Let’s stay here for a few days so that we can bill her an exorbitant amount of money.  Yay!” I think I had one nurse two times, but never the same nurse two days in a row.  Then again, I was already in the psych ward, not in the medical ward.  I wonder if that’s on purpose?  No psychiatric referral and right back into the same situation that got me there in the first place.  No counseling referral.  Then again, if they concerned themselves with helping and healing, they would be out of so much money.

Life and everything in it are worlds better than back then.  I still get these very panicky days where I feel like maybe nothing has changed.  Medicine isn’t working.  Nothing is different.  I am not different.  But the difference is that I can have these feelings and they don’t last.  They don’t swallow me.  I don’t drown in them.  I’m conscious that these things *can* happen and I try to be aware of it.  I’m by no means perfect nor is anyone or anything around me.

So read this blog so we can divide up all of these feels, because I am absolutely not going to read another one for a while.