Happily Random

This song seems terrible at first, sacrilegious as some would say.  Even while I laugh, I get that feeling that I might just cry towards the end because the song is actually quite beautiful.

The books you think I wrote are way too thick
Who needs a thousand metaphors to figure out you shouldn’t be a dick?
And I don’t watch you when you sleep
Surprisingly I don’t use my omnipotence to be a fucking creep

You’re not going to heaven
Why the fuck would you think I’d ever kick it with you?
None of you are going to heaven
There’s a trillion aliens cooler than you

You shouldn’t abstain from rape just cause you think that I want you to
You shouldn’t rape cause rape is a fucked up thing to do
(Pretty obvious, just don’t fucking rape people. Didn’t think I had to write that one down for you.)

I don’t think masturbation is obscene
It’s absolutely natural and the weirdest fucking thing I’ve ever seen
You make my job a living hell
I sent gays to fix overpopulation
Boy did that go well

You’re not going to heaven
Eat a thousand crackers sing a million hymns
None of you are going to heaven
You’re not my children
You’re just a bad game of Sim

You shouldn’t abstain from pork just cause you think that I want you to
You can eat pork cause why the fuck would I give a shit?
(I created the universe, think I’m drawing the line at the fucking deli aisle?)

You argue and you bicker and you fight
Atheists and Catholics, Jews and Hindus argue day and night
Over what they think is true
But no one entertains the thought of maybe God does not believe in you
You pray so badly for heaven
Knowing any day might be the day that you die
But maybe life on earth could be heaven
Doesn’t just the thought of it make it worth a try?

My love’s the type of thing that you have to earn and when you earn it
You won’t need it
My love’s the type of thing that you have to earn and when you earn it
You won’t need it

I’m not gonna give you love just cause I know that you want me to
If you want love then the love’s gotta come from you

We’ve adopted! — and other things

His name is Luis!  Not sure how old he is, but he has a child of his own.  Oh, and he’s a soldier.

Soldier cat deserves a cheezeburger.

So, no, we didn’t adopt a child nor did we adopt another pet.  Through the Adopt A US Soldier program, we were matched up with Luis.  I don’t know how much detail I should give, but the above picture is not of him.  Let’s just make that clear.  Any additional information I may or may not have is really not for discussion.  It makes me sad that on the AAUSS site they have to reinforce this idea over and over.  Also that this is not a dating site.  I mean, really?  Really, people?  I get it, but people have enough shit to worry about, wherever they’re stationed.  They don’t need a stateside stalker.

It may not seem a lot to some, but letters are so important, even in these times of instant information and communication.  Letters take the time and effort to say that you’re really thinking about someone.  I thought about this and realized that the servicemen and women that are in these far flung corners of the world could be my children.  Both because I’m so decrepitly old and also because so many soldiers are so excruciatingly young.  We are sending letters each week and I’m going to send a care package soon; I need more details about his preferences before I spend money on things that he’ll hate.  I don’t think it will matter that much, because even if my guy doesn’t like the stuff, surely someone else will.  But I adopted Luis and I want to get things for him, not for “any soldier”.  Any suggestions would be appreciated, there are lots of things that have been suggested to me that I haven’t even thought of.

Speaking of care packages, I got gifts for Chinese New Year (why yes, it was many months ago, that’s not the point) that I haven’t even posted about.  The Awesome Xingible over at Special Thanks sent me and my kiddos some awesome gifts.  In true shithead fashion, I ate everything and used everything and took very few pictures.  Here’s all the goodies:

They weren’t my favorite, but I still ate the whole bag.

 

I drank all the tea, but I did have one picture!

 

To balance the teh tarik. All eaten.

 

Josh got a bottle similar to these.  I’m too lazy to go downstairs to take a picture.  That second moss green seems a bit off.

 

My favorite! Fish for fish!

Robin got some awesome gel pens which she uses to make super fun pictures.  I don’t have any pictures of them because I’m a horrible parent.  Other things I got: embroidery thread, turmeric for my sleep, bullion, also got a *signed* copy of Eva Goes Solo so how awesome is that?!

So much stuff, all of it amazing.  Thank you, Xingible!  You really are the best and I’m very, very lucky.  Now off to video games and naps and such.  Priorities.

All the rest

I was originally going to post this back some time in May but I was in a life or death battle with three rhinoceroses and all I had were night vision googles, a kazoo, and a pair of chopsticks.

Or maybe I just forgot I had this draft sitting around.  Whatever.  So anyway…

I have a ridiculous phobia of dentists.  I had multiple terrible experiences as a child and as a young adult on my own, I couldn’t afford to eat let alone go to the dentist.  My problems were from both neglect and genetics, so yay me.  By the time I started adulting, my teeth were in terrible even more terrible shape.

The answer was sedation dentistry.  A full day of drugs, being driven around, and spitting out things.  Dental insurance is ridiculously expensive; not all of us can work a union job.

You know exactly how it sounds.

Not just expensive, but thousands of dollars worth of work at once.  Thousands. I couldn’t bear the dentist and I wanted to get everything done at once, so that’s basically why I did it.  Bursting into tears half way to the dentist and begging to turn around and we don’t have to do this and we can cancel the appointment and it’s so expensive turn around turn around turn around!

(Fact:  we did not get to turn around)

So, recently, I started having tooth pain.  I was terrified because there just isn’t money for this right now ever.  I didn’t want to go but it was excruciating.  I didn’t go the sedation route for the first time in about 20 years.  I did take two clonazepam though.  I didn’t throw up or become hysterical.  This is a big deal as that is what would have happened had I not self medicated.  It was still expensive; about $220 for an x-ray.  That’s all they did, but to be fair, it was a fancy x-ray.

So fancy.

First off, the tooth in question should not have been hurting at all–I had a root canal and crown about 10 years ago.  That’s why the tooth is so opaque.  The nerves are removed/deadened so there shouldn’t be any pain.    Here’s some even fancier animation for you:

Now, if you look at my x-ray, you can see there’s a gap where the canal should be fully filled.  You see the white ‘pool’ under the tooth?  That’s an infection, also known as PAIN OF DEATH.  After my super expensive x-ray, I had to go to a specialist so they could drill through the crown.  Best case scenario:  they drill through the crown, remove the canal stuff, pack it with antibiotic stuff, come back in three weeks, remove the antibiotic stuff, repack the canal stuff, set temporary filling, then go to an additional appointment at the regular dentist to get a permanent filling.

Yeah.  Dentist –> Endodontist –> Endodontist –> Dentist.

Worst case scenario:  They drill through the crown, break it, have to replace the whole thing and send the mafia after me to break my kneecaps after I can’t pay them.

Luckily, everything went as planned.  Expensive.  First dentist x-ray was $220, filling and cleaning after the fact was $300?  I already don’t remember because I like to block out trauma.  The endodontist was $15oo, but the follow up procedure was included.  So as expensive as this was, still cheaper than sedation.  AND I didn’t have any tooth problems other than the original reason that bright me in!  No passive aggressive comments, no accidental stabbing me in the mouth, no jerks, no assholes.  I don’t floss enough which I think is pretty much standard for everyone.  At the endodontist I was shaking and crying but I pulled myself together by the time the dentist came in so no one saw which basically means it didn’t happen.

In other news, I am doing the thing!  I have accidentally been working on my ChÜberlist.  Accidental as in, I have just been living my life and making decisions that were not motivated by a list that I would have already forgotten if I didn’t have it blogged.  So here are my updates:

Self
1. Lose 10% of my current total body weight. – I’ve lost 5% of my body weight!  Yay me!  I decided to start paying attention on May 22 and it is actually getting easier.  I’m only dieting at the moment, but I’ll soon add actual exercise because right now I’m still too lazy and unmotivated.  Baby steps.
2. Practice better drug adherence. – I have been doing much better, actually.  I’m not skipping on purpose but there are nights that I fall asleep early and forget.  That is happening less and less though.
3. Get a haircut that I can maintain. – Is a pony tail a haircut?
4. Sleep like a normal human being. – What is “normal”, anyway?  Who’s to say how I sleep isn’t normal?  I think you’re being rather judgmental.
5. Be conscious about my appearance. – Okay, I bought some things.  I am aware that I have an appearance.  I have ONE picture of myself that I like.  These are all big steps so I’ll take what I can get.

Home
1. I need a meal plan. – Eating human food is the plan for now.  We do follow our breakfast schedule and I have a ton of muffins and breakfast tacos and frittatas in the freezer for consumption.
2. I need a chore schedule. 
3. Major Spring/Summer/Autumn/Winter cleaning. – I threw out SO. MUCH. STUFF.  Old computers, the chair I rocked my babies in every night, lots of memories.  Bittersweet.  
4. Get the ice maker fixed.
5. Stop procrastinating on all of the minor repairs and projects. – I replaced a towel bar.  I did something.

Kids – I AM KILLING IT WITH THIS PARENTING THING.  Okay, I’ve been killing it for like, a week, but still, a week is progress.  We have finished our first week back to school since I took almost two months off to deal with that whole business thing.  School every day, violin practice every day, tae kwon do on Monday and Friday, violin on Tuesday and on Friday we go to the park to practice tae kwon do (I let Josh kick and punch the shit out of me) and play.  Their bedrooms are adequate.  If I can just keep this up I will be impressed and very pleased.
1. Enforce a consistent school, practice, wake up and bedtime routine.
2. School at the library or park once a week.
3. Have lesson plans one month in advance.
4. Be more regimented on practice for extra curricular activities.
5. Help the kids stay on task with cleaning their rooms.

Crafty – Ain’t nobody got time for that.
1. Finish hand quilting that giant king sized quilt.
2. Finish water color painting.
3. Sketchbook every day. Eventually.
4. Teach Robin to sew and to knit (those were her resolutions, so now they’re mine as well)
5. Knit at least 2 pair of socks.
6. Blog at least once a week.

Miscellaneous
1. Revamp the fish tanks. – Done, but always redoing.  I feel a bit stretched thin (mentally and financially) to do much more at this time but I want more fish, more plants, etc.  So basically, more money.
2. Wash my car once a month (inside and out)

So I like all this good news lately so if everything could stay consistent for a while that’d be great.  Picture unrelated:

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