ChÜberlist 2017 – The Year of the Slug

EDIT:  OH SHIT IT’S PAST MIDNIGHT AND NOW IT’S FEBRUARY OH NO!

It’s still January!  I’m not that late!

 ChÜberlist 2017 – The Year of the Slug has finally arrived!

ChÜberlist 2017 – The Year of the Slug has finally arrived!

Here is my current list conveniently sorted in pseudo categories.  As always, I’ll probably add more to the list just so I can mark it off my list because I like meaningless achievements.

I really need these. Click the picture to buy me the pack!

I really need these. Click the picture to buy me the pack!

One thing I didn’t put on my list this year:  Quit smoking.  I have always had that on my list as a gimme since I don’t smoke, but I’m trying to be an adult so I decided against it.

donglover

donglover

Self
1. Lose 10% of my current total body weight.  Unfortunately, NASA scientists are all busy at the moment so I can’t post any numbers right now.

They were busy with Barney's bar tab.

They were busy with Barney’s bar tab.

2. Practice better drug adherence. I’m shit at taking medicine at the right time…and I’m terribly inconsistent. So basically, I am a child and need to be reminded about everything, every day, forever.
3. Get a haircut that I can maintain. I’m going to be 38 fucking years old this year. I should grow beyond the ponytail. Basically, I need to stop being lazy about my hair. For the record, I’m starting to go gray and I don’t give a shit about dyeing it.
4. Sleep like a normal human being. “OH I’M SO TIRED” Maybe if I wasn’t up until 3 AM every night and up in the actual morning hours I wouldn’t be so fucking tired all the time. As noted in #2 above, I am a child and need a bedtime and bedtime routine. I need to learn how to be an adult.
5. Be conscious about my appearance. I know this is a newsflash, but I am not a big fan of myself, in literally any way you can think of. Since I think so little of myself, I have basically gotten to the point in my life that I only care about what I’m wearing or what I look like so I don’t embarrass my family. When I’m out alone, I am an even bigger mess than usual.

Accurate.

Accurate.

Home
1. I need a meal plan. Other than texting the Mr. at 6:30 with the usual “what for dinner?” Frozen breakfast is the first plan because that’s easy. Breakfast sandwiches and burritos, muffins, smoothie mixes. Then I’ll work my way up to having prepared food. I don’t know when I stopped really preparing meals to freeze. I did totally do it once, though now it had become more of a myth than anything.
2. I need a chore schedule. See #2 of Self. I am a child and need to be reminded about everything, every day, forever. Everything in my house is at some stage between cluttered and disgusting. My ultimate goal is to have a home that someone could stop by unexpectedly and I wouldn’t force them to stay outside.

How many decades will this strike last?

Strike also applies to brownies, domovois, heinzelmännchen

3. Major Spring/Summer/Autumn/Winter cleaning. I need to declutter like no one’s business. I think if I haven’t used it in 10 years, I probably don’t need it. A handwriting worksheet from when Josh was 3 is probably also unnecessary to retain for his records.
4. Get the ice maker fixed. You’d think a simple task like calling a repair man wouldn’t take multiple years to do, but here we are.  It gets its own number because it’s been literally years.  I need to do this.  Eventually.
5. Stop procrastinating on all of the minor repairs and projects. Here is a preliminary list of things that need to get done:
– mount and display Josh’s Tae Kwon Do belts and certificates
– hang blinds and curtains in kitchen
– regroup and hang family pictures
– hang up artwork that I bought 10 years ago OR donate it
– replace towel bars in kids’ bathroom and half bath
– repaint any rooms that need to be repainted (It’s been a long time and the kids’ rooms especially need paint in my opinion.)

Kids
1. Enforce a consistent school, practice, wake up and bedtime routine. Which mostly means I need to have a routine. I’m the worst.

I have an alarm clock that can go off at two different times. I am slowly learning how to not sleep through both.

I have an alarm clock that can go off at two different times. I am slowly learning how to not sleep through both.

2. School at the library or park once a week. They need to learn to work with distractions and we are too cooped up in the house anyway.
3. Have lesson plans one month in advance. I can always improvise, but not every day.
4. Be more regimented on practice for extra curricular activities. I’m the worst, the WORST at practicing violin. And Tae Kwon Do kicks.
5. Help the kids stay on task with cleaning their rooms. Did I mention I’m the worst at everything?

Crafty
1. Finish hand quilting that giant king sized quilt.
2. Finish water color painting.
3. Sketchbook every day. Eventually.
4. Teach Robin to sew and to knit (those were her resolutions, so now they’re mine as well)
5. Knit at least 2 pair of socks.
6. Blog at least once a week.

Quantity over quality is easy since the quality has been at zero since 2006

Quantity over quality is easy since the quality has been at zero since 2006

Miscellaneous
1. Revamp the fish tanks.
2. Wash my car once a month (inside and out)

Whoooooo! So, 23 whole resolutions. To be fair, that’s a lot if I’m actually doing this. There are other personal goals I have this year but I’m not interested in airing all my dirty laundry to the world. Just the grossest pieces, I guess. I’m glad that I’m reviving the ChÜberlist; I’d like to believe that it means that I’m still alive and motivated on improving myself, even if it’s at a slug’s pace.

Get it? GET IT? GEDITGEDITGEDIT?!

Get it? GET IT? GEDITGEDITGEDIT

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One thought on “ChÜberlist 2017 – The Year of the Slug

  1. Pingback: All the rest – chukichi

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