entertainment, life, web

What were we talking about?

Oh yeah.

Coulrophobia:  [kool-ruhfoh-bee-uh] n. 1. An abnormal fear of clowns.

Kindergarten, 5 years old: Color and cut out the pieces of the clowns face and glue them onto this other piece of paper to make a happy clown!

sinister

I colored and cut it out and then I used too much glue.  I cried and cried because I had ruined it.  Spoiler:  it was not ruined because Elmer’s School Glue dries clear.  I was inconsolable.  Literally, my kindergarten teacher was holding me and rocking me back and forth to try to get me to calm down.  Thank you, Mrs. Garavaglia.  You were the best.

Pierrot clowns

spooky

They fall into the umbrella category of dolls.  I hate porcelain dolls.  Some are strikingly beautiful, but there is something sinister to me about dolls.  Dolls have been used in ritual magic from the dawn of time and are believed to be able to house the souls of the dead.

vintage

The movie Dolls, even with its terrible acting and special effects pretty much ruined me for life.  I rented that movie for a sleepover and again, no adult ever thought a thing about it.  Also, I rented that VHS movie because I’m old as hell.

Zeebo the Clown, and anything from Are You Afraid of the Dark?

ded

The intro says more than I ever could:

The clown from Poltergeist.

nightmare

It’s not chair scene, but still terrifying.  That chair scene kills me every time.

Ronald McDonald.  My sister told me that he raped kids.

life destroying

Jack in the Boxes

terrifying

Okay, not all of them are scary.  Look at this cute thing:

adorable

You know who wasn’t scary to me, though?  Bozo the Clown.  Thanks to WGN Chicago I watched him and his sidekick Cooky  and dreamed of throwing the ping pong balls in the numbered buckets.

endearing

I would never have been on the show but I still had that stage fright anxiety that I wouldn’t get a ping pong ball even in the first bucket.  I did not need to fail spectacularly in an ultra embarrassing way on national television.

Enough about clowns already!  Back to other pointless programming.

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