I follow this great blog and you should, too. Honestly, I do my best *not* to read it too often. I can’t always handle it. This particular blog caught my eye and I got sucked in to reading it.
I wish I had this kind of experience when I was in the hospital. The whole thing felt like a formality, really. “Let’s stay here for a few days so that we can bill her an exorbitant amount of money. Yay!” I think I had one nurse two times, but never the same nurse two days in a row. Then again, I was already in the psych ward, not in the medical ward. I wonder if that’s on purpose? No psychiatric referral and right back into the same situation that got me there in the first place. No counseling referral. Then again, if they concerned themselves with helping and healing, they would be out of so much money.
Life and everything in it are worlds better than back then. I still get these very panicky days where I feel like maybe nothing has changed. Medicine isn’t working. Nothing is different. I am not different. But the difference is that I can have these feelings and they don’t last. They don’t swallow me. I don’t drown in them. I’m conscious that these things *can* happen and I try to be aware of it. I’m by no means perfect nor is anyone or anything around me.
So read this blog so we can divide up all of these feels, because I am absolutely not going to read another one for a while.