OMG I SAW THIS THING TODAY IN MY YARD AND I THOUGHT IT WAS A ROCK OR A STUMP BUT HOW DOES A ROCK OR A STUMP JUST SHOW UP OUT OF NOWHERE WITHOUT SOME FUCKING WIZARD ASS MAGIC AND THEN SHIT IT MOVED AND I WAS LIKE FUCK THAT IS A BIG FUCKING BIRD I AM SURE THAT BASED ON THE SIZE AND CROWEYNESS OF THAT BIRD THAT IT IS A CROW AND THEN OH NO FUCK THAT NOISE IT WAS A MOTHERFUCKING ROBIN THAT LOOKED LIKE IT ATE ANOTHER ROBIN AND I MADE MY HUSBAND GET UP FROM A GODDAMNED SATURDAY AFTERNOON NAP TO CONFIRM THAT INDEED IT WAS NOT A ROCK OR A STUMP OR A CROW BUT STEROID PUMPING DRUG ADDLED ROBIN JUST FUCKING SITTING THERE IN MY GODDAMNED BACKYARD AND DURING ALL OF THE UNBELIEVABLE HORROR I HAD TO KEEP SHOOING THE TWO YOUNG CHILDREN THAT WERE NOT NEARLY OLD ENOUGH TO BEHOLD THE SIGHT OF THIS TERRIBLE ABOMINATION OF A ROBIN THAT WAS AT LEAST TWICE THAT SIZE OF A NORMAL ROBIN TOO BAD I DIDN’T GET A PICTURE BUT MY CAMERA IS NOT A FANCY DSLRLMNOP CAMERA WITH A WIDE ANGLE LENS TO GET A SHOT OF THAT WIDE ASS ANGLED BIRD FUCK MAYBE IT WAS A CHICKEN DISGUISED AS A ROBIN BECAUSE I NEVER SAW IT FLY FUCK I TURNED AWAY FOR A SECOND AND IT DISAPPEARED MAYBE THERE ACTUALLY IS SOME SERIOUS FUCKING WIZARD ASS MAGIC GOING ON BACK THERE OR SOME SORT OF NEFARIOUS POULTRY ESPIONAGE OR MAYBE THAT ROBIN HAS SERIOUS FUCKING LOW SELF ESTEEM PROBLEMS I DON’T KNOW
In other news, I am still away playing video games and suddenly now there is a stye in my eye and it hurts really bad. I hope you had a nice 4th of July and this applies to everyone in the US and abroad because why would I want anyone’s 4th day of any random month to be bad? I’ll be back soon with boring stuff. In the mean time, enjoy your summer.