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WRONG

I love shrimp.  I had shrimp for dinner just last night and it was delicious.  This, sir, is no shrimp:

Imagine it in your mouth. IMAGINE IT.

After reading this and this I’ve decided to never leave the house again.  I mean, c’mon New Zealand, really?

For the record, I’m not usually squeamish.  I will tell you a story that will give you a minor insight to my childhood:

My two Cocker Spaniels had puppies and they were adorable.  Cocker Spaniels are usually seen with their tails docked (cut off) like this:

Frizz Away would do wonders for you.

Of course, they’re not born that way, they have regular floppy tails.  Breeders generally use a device that puts a rubber band around the tail close to the base to cut off the blood supply until the tail falls off.

Take all those puppies to a vet?  Bitch, please.  Not my mother.

I came home one day to her and the puppies in the kitchen.   She gave me the old “put out your hand!” trick and I was sure it was a bug.  It took forever for her to convince me it wasn’t bugs.  I give her my hands and she puts all the bloodied puppy tails in my hand, still warm, I might add.  I didn’t freak out and puppy dog tails didn’t go flying, but I wasn’t pleased.   This didn’t make me squeamish.

Not too long after, I got my mother back.  I caught a large mouth bass and was gutting and cleaning it in the kitchen sink.  I found a whole, partially digested crayfish in it’s stomach and chased her with it until she gagged.  That didn’t make me squeamish.

This thing.  This thing makes me squeamish:

Look at this idiot.

HOW CAN HE TOUCH THAT THING WITH HIS BARE HANDS?

 

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3 thoughts on “WRONG”

  1. Hahaha! Google for mantis prawn, a common item in Chinese seafood restaurants in Asia. It is just as delicious as lobster. Not cheap in some higher end restaurants too! The ones found by the great western “scientists” are paler in shade compared to the common ones in Asia.

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