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Eff You See Kay

Man has this day been a shit pie.  I am going to be really lazy and just get into this because I don’t care to give you a giant back story.

The Mr. went to Home Depot this morning to rent a tiller so we could finally put the albatross swimming pool in the back yard.  He bought 1600 lbs of sand.  He tilled the yard.

Or more specifically, tried to till the yard.

Now that, my friends, is progress.

Seriously.  That’s what the biggest tiller could do.  The yard needed to be tilled, not shaved.  Georgia clay.  Otherwise known as cement and a good way to ruin your summer.

Home Depot guy said if that tiller wasn’t going to do it, we were going to need big equipment, which is common here.  I kind of wish I had been there because I would have laughed inappropriately at my need of “big equipment”.  Because I’m twelve years old.

Last week, I was able to hack out a trench in about an hour using a pick ax and a shovel:

Did I say trench? I meant NOTHING.
And right below the surface is a mass of roots and stones. I tested this throughout the yard. Yes, it was everywhere.

Oh, and that 1600 lbs of sand?

It was raining when I took this picture. JOY.

50lb bags each which is no problem.  Until you have to haul all of them.  And they weigh maybe 2-5% more because of the water.  This calculates to FML.

It does not end here.  We were also going to till the swing set area which now is totally out.  Also, I had previously mentioned sinkholes and will mention them again.  Sinkholes.

Kind of hard to see, but it's there. Why can't I take anything but shitty pictures?

So finally after hemming and hawing about the whole thing we decided to go ahead and hire someone to come in with a backhoe and dig that shit out.  We can take down a fence.  We can put one back up.  We have just enough budget left, so let’s just fucking do it.  Sure, why not.

And then, Major Fuckery decided to give the Mr. a call from the Ford place.  That funny sound the brakes were making?  The sound that started just this morning and got worse?  Yeah, that’s the brakes going out totally.  So that, with an oil change, came to a total of $1200.  Good-bye, last scrapings of our budget.   And then I punched a goddamn puppy in the face*.

Totally unrelated to the above, but also something that pissed me off today,  this description from a craft blog:

“There’s is probably some kind of “pie-R-squared” formula to calculate # of balls based on circumference, but that’s just not my style…”

Holy shit, her style is also to be completely ignorant about math.  I CAN BARELY EVEN COUNT AND I KNOW HOW WRONG THAT SENTENCE IS AND I WILL TYPE IN ALL CAPS ABOUT IT!  I am Asian and I suck balls at math and I know that’s wrong.  I was required to take a no credit pre-math course in college before I could take college algebra because I scored so low and I. KNOW. HOW. WRONG. THAT. IS.

And I just noticed that it says “There’s is”.  I know I make mistakes and typos, everyone does.  But that, coupled with this Stupid Pie shit just sent me over the edge.

I am not going to give up.  I am going to haul that sand to the furthest (Isn’t it always the fucking furthest) side of the deck where the land is only slightly sloped and buy a new pool.  I only spent $70 on the pool we bought so it seemed batshit crazy to spend $1500 to install it.  And yet, here we are.  So what’s another $30 or so.  The kids will be happy, I will lower my blood pressure.  It’s kind of win-win.  Right?  RIGHT?

Future site of the newer new kiddie pool. I can has sad.

*For the record, I didn’t punch anything. I’m not that mean as to punch a puppy in the face.  I would have used him to dig the shit out of my yard.

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