1. I’ve been on a diet and so far have lost 8 lbs. But now I’m PMSing super hard and have gained 3 lbs which had totally better be fucking water weight. I didn’t diet for the rapture for nothing.
2. My house is messy.
Am I breaking Mom code by admitting this? I am being kind when I say messy. I think I’m a slob. My kitchen is a mess. I will get a wild hair up my ass and clean really well but on a regular day, I will leave dirty dishes in the sink, not wipe the stove or counters, etc. This is a horrible, childish habit. And when I’m making dinner, I get mad because I don’t have any work space. What am I, like 12?
3. I have no cultural identity.
I want to pass on the traditions and foods I had as a child, but I absolutely feel like a fraud. I haven’t celebrated Chinese New Year in…I don’t know. 7 years? Something like that. I also rarely cook Chinese or Thai food and I’ve made egg rolls one time. One time ever. They were zomgtotallyfantastic. But only once. When people ask me about my heritage, I explain that I am Chinese and Thai…and immediately follow that up with “but I was born in Illinois and my friends joke that I am the whitest kid they know!!!”. First, TMI. Also, I think that makes me sound like I’m embarrassed by my heritage. I dunno.
4. I am greedy with my time. Greedy as in, if you’re not worth my time, I will not invest in you. It sounds so harsh but it’s the truth. It’s the nature of my life now. I don’t have time to spare to people who don’t contribute to my life in a positive way. This helps to keep negativity out my life; I can’t control many things that cross my path, but I can control how I choose to spend my own time and who I surround myself with.
5. I have a new favorite show.
My favorite characters are Tezz Volitov and Sherman Cortez. I love geniuses and men with accents. Tezz fulfills both those criteria. Sherman is genius as well and looks like a football player. Done and done.
Okay, I think that’s plenty for pre-rapture confessions!