Photo Dump: Random and Belated

1. Jasper
2. This rock in my aquarium

resembles the planet Jupiter.

3. Dandelions

4. Long shots always look like an album cover to me.

5. This makes me laugh disproportionately hard

6.  Magnus is now 7.4 lbs at 5.5 months. He was 2.4 lbs when we got him 3 months ago.

7. Josh’s birthday was in March and I didn’t say anything about it.

8. We went to Medieval Times for his birthday (but we waited until after tax season).

9. Summer reading challenge dinner. They read while we waited for a table but I made them put it away before food.  

10. Playing so many puzzles on Facebook.  Because I’m cool.


I’m seriously considering something.  As in, actually taking into consideration.  I think I need to go on a social media fast.  I need to break free.  Hole up.  Quit being baited into caring about things that I shouldn’t.  Case in point: Ahmed Mohamed and the clusterfuck fiasco that followed.  There is plenty out there, Google it and read up if you’re not aware.  I’m angry.

This gif is never not necessary.

I’m angry about this whole thing, top to bottom.

  • that a school would call police rather than parents
  • that the first teacher didn’t diffuse the situation or even hold the clock for the school day to help avoid the situation
  • that a boy who built a clock and maintained that it was nothing more than a clock and never showed it to anyone else but a teacher who could confirm it was a clock was handcuffed “for his own safety and the safety of others” and humiliated
  • that the media twists things around to inspire/enrage society
  • the people said it was completely planned for the President’s agenda
  • that the boy’s dad is a politician from Sudan and maybe it was all planned
  • that social and public outcry is the only thing that gets noticed, but if you have something that needs social and public outcry you are just an attention whore
  • I’ve put way too much time, attention and emotion into this and the ‘news’ in general (because let’s face it, a lot of this is not news

Maybe not a full on social media fast.  Blogs are considered social media, no?  Maybe no Facebook.  Should I start with Facebook and work in Twitter and Imgur?  I hate/love them all.  What if I have a question for a large group of people?  What about my home school groups?  What about blogs?  Comics?  TV news?

I think this sounds like I want to put my head in the sand and not see the ills of the world.  That’s not completely untrue, but for me, I know how I react.  I get angry, I get emotionally involved and frankly, I don’t want to do that.  If you believe in things like energy from emotion and whatnot, I don’t need that kind of energy in my life, let alone my home.  I feel like it turns me into some kind of zealot or an uneducated naive suburbanite.  I simply don’t want the headache of it.  I don’t want the online pissing contests.  I don’t want the distraction.

#seriously #oldlife #4PMdinnerftw

I don’t like that these things bleed into my blog, which is supposed to be a repository of refinement.  Or is it an archive of atrocity?  Whatever it is, it’s not supposed to be this.  I need to figure out how to insulate my emotions without suffocating my reasoning.  I need to think about how to actually do that.

Okay.  Here’s what I’ll do.  My plan for the rest of the year:

Facebook – hide everyone except for home school/educational groups.  This way I can still communicate with my friends but not have to see the shit they post (good or bad)
Twitter – ignore
Imgur – ignore

I’ll still read blogs and comics and Youtube and Netflix.  That’s fair, right?  Those things are for school or for an escape or for both.  I just hope I can do it, because I really feel like I need this.  I worry I’m going to get drawn back into it all because let’s face it, it’s fun and addicting.

Do It Anyway

Because I always need this kind of motivation but other people do, too.  BF5 just kills me.  With laughter or with tears.  (still my favorite)  I actually blogged this before, but it’s never not applicable.

Ben Folds Five – “Do It Anyway”

You might put your love and trust on the line
It’s risky, people love to tear that down
Let ’em try
Do it anyway
Risk it anyway

And if you’re paralyzed by a voice in your head
It’s the standing still that should be scaring you instead
Go on and
Do it anyway
Do it anyway

There will be times you might leap before you look
There’ll be times you’ll like the cover and that’s precisely why you’ll love the book
Do it anyway
Do it anyway

Tell me what I said I’d never do
Tell me what I said I’d never say
Read me off a list of the things I used to not like but now I think are ok

Sometimes it’s not subjective: wrong and right
Deep down you know it’s downright wrong but you’re invincible tonight
So you
Do it anyway
It’s done
You did it

Despite your grand attempts the chips are set to fall
And all the stories you might weave cannot negotiate them all
Do it anyway
Be honest, anyway

So tell me what I said I’d never do
Tell me what I said I’d never say
Read me off a list of the things I used to not like but now I think are OK
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Woah woah woah woah

It’s gonna be so very hard to say
And watch the trust and joy all drain from her innocent face
But you must
Do it anyway
It sucks but
Do it anyway

Call it surrender but you know that that’s a joke
And the punchline is you were actually never in control
But still, surrender anyway

Tell me what you said you’d never do
Tell me what you said you’d never say
Read me off that list of things ’cause I used to not like you
But now I think you’re OK
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Woah woah woah woah

Everybody knows that you just gotta do it anyway

Do it anyway [x8]

Cause you don’t do nothing to avoid self punishment
You won’t do nothing
You won’t feel nothing
Do it, do it, do it anyway
Do it anyway

Filler Post: Jake

FACT: I started this blog entry on 8/12 and forgot all about it. So here goes a filler post before a filler post. Fillerpostception.

The fuck is that?


Name: Jake
AKA: Jakey, Jake-Jake, Jake-Face, Toothy, Fluffypants, Jake from State Farm
DOB: c. June 2012
Adopted: June 12,2013
Weight: 14 lbs
Breed: Norwegian Forest Cat mix
Known litter mates: BK

BK has seen some shit.

chin scratches
ear massage
the bottom left (foot) of the bed
the top level of his cat tree

Preferably alone.

trying to get outside
chittering at birds and squirrels
sleeping on clean laundry
eating foam (foam mats, flip-flop sandals, Nerf darts, etc)
hugs while I’m on the toilet
his green wool and catnip mouse
coconut oil

store bought toys
pulling on his long white ear hair

This one especially.

being picked up unless he asks
plastic bag noises
being in the car
my face in his face
this vine
being closed out of the bedroom because if not this happens all night:

Kids need water, food, and dirt to grow. Oh, and light. In the bathroom down the hall.

Not too terribly much more to say about Jake.  He’s loving and sweet and a lap cat cuddler.  He wants your full attention, regardless of computer, book, child, or food in your hands.  He loves to sneak outside but just huddles on the sidewalk or under the hedges and meows.  He howls like he’s dying but he just wants everyone to know that he killed his toy mouse for the 3,487th time.  This generally happens first thing in the morning, dinner time, and in between the hours of 12-3 AM.  He’s a creature of habit.  He is seriously crazy when it comes to catnip.   I clean his right eye of gunk every day.  The left side never has an issue.  He doesn’t give a shit about the fish tanks but he loves the smell of fish food.  He sneaks licks of coconut oil from the lid of the jar and the ends of my hair.  I use it for my hair and skin, not for cooking.

Celebrity photo

That was a clean blanket. Now it’s a clean blanket with lots and lots of black fur.

I thought he was a pirate stockbroker but I was wrong.

The kids love love love made up stories and Jake has been the protagonist in many a tale.  One thing that never really changes is his primary (cover) profession:  biscuit maker.  Jake has an amazing factory where he makes every kind of biscuit imaginable.  Sometimes he has to go away because he’s needed for his ninja skills.  I think only once did I make Jake the bad guy because ‘Hey, diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle…”  He had to make money, so he played a stolen violin on the street corner for money.  Soon he had enough to pay for a new violin and for whatever the reason was that he needed money in the first place.  He really does lead an interesting life, that one.

Once he had a a terrible stomach illness, probably brought on by eating foam like an asshole.  Diarrhea.  So much diarrhea.   When nictitating tissue is inflamed or doesn’t retract, it’s a huge red flag.  I had to cook him chicken breast and brown rice for a week.  He was a mess.  I was in tears; just so overwhelmed and scared to death that this was going to be another Boris.  He made a full recovery and we threw out all the Nerf darts and hide all the foam floor mats.   Fyi, cat proofing a house is a bigger pain in the ass than baby proofing.

He looks so huge in the dog crate. OH WAIT HE’S HUGE.

The rest of the time, he’s busy just being a cat.  He’s very chatty.  When he wants to be picked up, he doesn’t care if I’m on the toilet, eating dinner, teaching or any combination of the three.  He’s shredded my shoulder on many occasion.  He comes when he’s called, he suffocates me with love and a copious amount of fur.  Love, love, love.

Mildly Annoyed Technically Asian Lady

First, completely unrelated to my mild annoyance of this post:

The numbers are not pretty, unlike your face.

Check out these articles here and here.  <facebook post>Says a lot. I’ve been pretty unhappy and burned out on this expansion; I honestly only still have my account for the kids to play and for the undying hope that it’s going to get better. Paying $15 a month to log into my garrison and click buttons and log out. Tsk, tsk.</facebook post>

So, back to my original annoyance.  I am Asian.  Wait, that’s not what annoys me.  Jeez, I’m a poor writer.  BACK ON TRACK:  I am Asian but was raised in a very white, middle American town.  I had a fairly Asian home life but almost all of my friends were white (demographics!).  I grew up with the super white grunge 90s mentality.  I don’t speak anything fluently but English.  Old Chinese women that I don’t know have yelled at me for not speaking Chinese.  I don’t celebrate Chinese New Year anymore, but I want to, *but* I feel weird even thinking about doing it after so many years of not doing it/never doing it on my own as an adult.

My second favorite part!  (Food.  Food is always my favorite part of everything.)

Having said that, the truth is that feeling white doesn’t actually mean that I am white.  I have had my share of racism/discrimination.  The “what are you, anyway?”, the “go back to your own country”, the “welcome to America”.  The “you speak English really good!” (yes, the irony of bad grammar), the “wow, you don’t sound like you have a foreign name!”, the “do your parents own a nail salon or a laundromat?”  Now that I have children, I get the “oh do you speak your native language to them at home?” and the “he doesn’t even have chinky eyes!”,  Definitely not as bad as many others have it.  Still upsetting to me because it’s a reminder of this weird barrier between me and everyone else.   And I never think of a witty rebuttal until way after the fact.

Next time, for sure.

It took me a long time to understand why I sympathized with other groups of people that have a history of discrimination.  I think it falls under the “if people are shitty to you, they could be shitty to me” mentality.  I get my feathers ruffled at the injustices of the world that I’m lucky enough to watch on the news and not be part of.  But it’s shitty on all sides, one group to another to another, regardless of who’s on top.  How about we *all* stop being shit heads?  We could do that, right?

The spark for this post was an article I read today regarding the official city apology to an ethnic group.  The title of this post might give it away a bit, but subtlety was never my strong point.  The author says “better late than never”.

Better late than never?  Ungrateful.  Completely ungrateful.

Is being sorry enough?  Not if you refuse to fix the problem going forward.  Not if you do not acknowledge the wrongs that were committed.  A true apology does that-acknowledges the wrongs committed.  But here’s a science fact (as of 8/5/2015):  you can’t change the past.  You seriously super can’t.

Seriously sound advice.

Dear groups/people/races/plants/zombies/other: If you have been discriminated in the past, or mistreated, or abused, or looked at sideways and you are acknowledged or apologized to, don’t say “better late than never”.

It’s snarky.  It makes you look like an asshole.  Being angry doesn’t excuse being an asshole.  There’s a difference.

It also makes you look like a butt head.

Feel some sort of minimum satisfaction that you/your ancestors/people you know have been acknowledged and the wrongs have been acknowledged.  A MINIMUM.  Is this perfect?  Of course not.  If life was perfect, no one would have been wronged in the first place. Thou shalt not stir a foot to seek a foe.  Keep working on making things good and right going forward.  Educate, the good AND the bad.  Destroying an item doesn’t change the past or people’s minds and ideas.

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.  For the record, I used to dye my hair burgundy, wear dark lipstick and paint my nails either black or vamp.  LEST WE FORGET.

I understand that you don’t get to regulate other people’s feelings.  Being angry is one of those great primal emotions that is so hard to regulate.  On the other side of that, anger without progress is worthless.  Wasted energy.


Aside from this little rant, school has started this week and it hasn’t been that bad.  “Not that bad” is pretty much all I could hope for and I’ll post more on that eventually.  I’m so ready for summer to be over.